You can open your mind by beginning to list your fundamental beliefs, look at each one and ask yourself why you believe it.
When you open your mind, you will find your magic. Think about what would allow our minds to think things such as:
- "We just had a big argument, and now she is probably going to leave me"
- "I do not think that my boss is pleased with my performance. I could lose my job"
- "My doctor has not called back as promised. She is postponing giving me the bad news"
- "I cannot possibly learn HTML programming. It Is much too complicated"
The mind is so powerful that we can make up stories about anything and everything. It is difficult for us to know our truth, see the bigger picture objectively and actually distinguish what is real. Typically, we are so busy creating and believing scenarios that have little or no bearing on reality.
A client was recently telling me that despite all of her efforts and amazingly brilliant ideas, nothing much was getting accomplished. She had several great ideas about inventions, about expanding her business, and about getting organized. Yet, despite her efforts, nothing much was happening.
She claimed that she really wants nothing more than to be a successful business owner.
So I became curious as to what story she had invented in her mind that created this discrepancy between what she wants and what is showing up. I questioned “What are the traits and characteristics that come to mind when you think of someone who is successful?”
Without exaggeration, her response was “Successful people are greedy, selfish, egotistical, arrogant, subject to tantrums, and at times they exhibit awful behavior. “
With that mindset, what are the chances that someone could become successful?
It is amazing how many things we make up and how many ideas are floating around in our minds that prevent us from just being with what is.
The bad news is that we are unaware of our hidden ideas and beliefs.
The good news is that we can uncover those unconscious negative thoughts and dispel them one at a time. For every conflict that we encounter, there is a seemingly very real idea behind it that keeps the conflict in place.
Once you open your mind and begin to determine and differentiate between the facts and the perceived ideas, you can quickly see that your stories usually stem out of your fears of what you believe may result:
– If we argue, it means the relationship will end;
– If I choose that, then I will lose this;
– If I succeed, I will not have time for fun;
– If I try, I will probably fail
In the case of the client with the negative list around success, we might ask:
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“Is that really true for every successful person?”
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“How are your ideas about successful people serving you?”
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“What would it be like if you did not believe that successful people only have negative traits?”
For any situation, those questions can be followed with my Famous Question: IS IT POSSIBLE?
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Is it possible that a successful person can be generous?
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Is it possible that a successful person is capable of genuinely caring about his/her employees?
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Is it possible that you could learn a new program even though it appears to be difficult?
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Is it possible that the relationship is better than ever and disagreements happen because we want to be right about something?
Even if you would open your mind just a little bit to alternative possibilities, you begin to move towards your goals and vision. It is all about removing or dispelling The Story that we have going on that stands in our way of what we want and what we currently believe.
TRY THIS EXERCISE TO OPEN YOUR MIND:
What do you want that you do not have? Do you have a Story behind your thinking? What would it look like if you dropped your Story? What thoughts come to mind as soon as soon as something goes slightly awry or is difficult to tackle? Do you go straight to the ‘doom’ place? What if you invented a new story that has a positive outcome? Perhaps you will be willing to look deeper by simply asking “Is it possible….?”
If the answer is ‘yes, but…’ then you are already on your way to dispelling your ‘story.’ Even if you open your mind just a slight bit to a ‘maybe,’ your ‘story’ loses power, and you are on your way to making significant strides towards achieving your vision.
